Celebrity Odds
Written by Tony DiGerolamo
Copyright 2011

Place your bets people! Hollywood is like the Vegas of movies, but only if you bet on the outcomes! With celebrities, the odds are anything can happen.

Dennis Quaid
1 to 2 Odds that he’s been at Charlie Sheen’s place.
1 to 2 Odds that Christmas with brother Randy will look like a 2-part episode of Intervention.
1 to 2 Odds that he wishes he could use cocaine as an excuse for Vantage Point.
1 to 5 million Odds that he’ll make Pandorum 2 without cocaine.

The Cast of the Jersey Shore
1 to 9 million Odds that they deserve six figure salaries.
1 to 2 Odds that most of that salary will go to Ed Hardy shirts and hair gel.
1 in 10 Odds that The Situation could read his own contract.
1 in 5 Odds that Italy will deport the cast during the next season.

Russel Brand
1 in 3 Odds that the ghost of Dudley Moore is now haunting him.
1 in 5 Odds that the ghost of Helen Mirren will one day haunt him.
1 in 1 Odds that he motorboats Kate Perry’s breast on a daily basis.
1 in 8 million Odds that he thought the cartoon rabbit movie would outsell Arthur.

Barack Obama
1 in 100 Odds that he and John Boehner will spray tan together.
1 in 10 Odds that he will get a spray tan if Republicans insist on it.
1 in 8 Odds of a reasonable spray tan compromise from Democrats.
1 in 6 Odds that Republicans will balk at the Democrat compromise.
1 in 1 Odds that he will then get two spray tans just to be safe and not be called “weak on spray tans”.

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