Celebrity Odds
Written by Tony DiGerolamo
Copyright 2010

Celebrity Odds is back after a brief hiatus. (We had to wait until Charlie Sheen finally sobered up long enough to let other celebrities embarrass themselves.) Place your bets! Celebrities are as unpredictable as the evil corporate empires they serve.

Ricky Gervais
1 to 20 Odds Hugh Hefner will invite him to the Playboy Mansion.
1 to 40 Odds anyone watched the Golden Globes.
1 to 10,000 Odds that he’ll be at Tom Cruise’s house for Thanksgiving.
1 to 6 Odds that Charlie Sheen was so loaded he thought he said, “Martin Sheen”.
1 to 3 million Odds anyone cares about the Golden Globes.

Hugh Hefner
1 to 5 Odds that he’s yelling at some kids to get off his lawn.
1 to 2 Odds he’ll be married to one of those kids in the future.
1 to 2 Odds he orders Viagra by the dumpster loads.
1 to 2 Odds Ricky wishes he was Hugh Hefner’s penis.
1 to 1 Odds every many wishes he was Hugh Hefner’s penis.

Gwyneth Paltrow
1 to 30 Odds she’ll sing country again.
1 to 2 Odds she’ll jump on the next movie-related music bandwagon.
1 to 2 million Odds Country Strong will win an Oscar.
1 to 50,000 Odds Gwyneth wished Ricky Gervais made fun of her at the Golden Globes.
1 to 2 Odds she’s too rich and hot to care.

http://static.tvguide.com/MediaBin/Galleries/Shows/A_F/Fa_Fh/Family_Guy/Season6/family-guy27.jpg

Seth Rogen
1 to 8 million Odds that Green Hornet will win an Oscar.
1 to 1 Odds that Seth Rogen is so high right now, he thinks it deserves one.
1 to 6 Odds that Green Hornet was so bad, Nicholas Cage laughed at it.
1 to 3 Odds he’ll be fat again.
1 to 1 Odds that Ricky Gervais would’ve made a funnier Kato.

Michael Steele
1 to 6 Odds that the white GOP members learned his name.
1 to 1 Odds he’ll go back to that lesbian S&M bar for another drink.
1 to 1 Odds he’ll be on Fox News bashing Obama as a commenter.
1 to 2,000 Odds he’ll put out a rap album under Lil Wayne’s label.
1 to 5 Odds that if he did, Obama would listen to it and do what he said.

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