Former Gov. Rod Blagojevich’s Defense Breakdown
Written by Tony DiGerolamo
Copyright 2010

Looks like Chicago’s most famous hair piece, former Governor Rod Blagojevich, finally got caught doing something. But out of 24 counts, how did only one stick when giant hair boy never took the stand? We here at Thatsmycrap.com have put our best imaginologists to work on what the worst haircut in Chicago was going to say in his defense.

Shrugs shoulders and says, “You got nuthin’!” 13%
Burns hand on Bible when attempting to swear to tell the truth. 12%
Does Pacino screaming “No, you’re out of order! You’re out of order!”

Promises everyone on the jury 500 bucks. 15%
Pretends to call Obama on cellphone and assure judge pardon is “on way” 8%
Point out that reality show cameras can’t follow him to prison 2%
Cry and reveal that Mel Gibson called and screamed at him earlier. 4%

Reveal that he’s part of “Team Edward” in a blatant attempt to woo vampire fans. 3%
Assure everyone that he would’ve sold Obama’s Senate seat to “someone cool” 14%
Sings, “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen” in deep baritone. 20%

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